Seeing through another's eyes

This morning I was challenged by two things. The first was a Scripture verse, and the other a piece of relationship detail for consideration from our women's bible study teacher.

Here's the passage:
10 "Do you refuse to speak to me?" Pilate said. "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?"
11 Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin."
John 19:10-11 NIV

This stuck with me because it occurs to me that I give my parents' words too much power (meaning that I take their opinions in too deeply...) This is especially true when their words are harsh or critical. Unfortunately, neither of my parents is good at pointing out a need for correction without being destructive. God has allowed me the knowledge and wisdom to know the difference which defines CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, but it's painfully hard to break the"ties that bind" in this case. UGH. I KNOW I MUST!

The other piece from this morning is much harder to work with. I was asked to consider Mom emotionally disabled, at least to a degree. That made me mad! (NOT at my friend who suggested this, but at the idea that being somehow being "disabled" gives Mom a bona fide reason to behave the way she recently has.) I don't think that's what my friend meant, but it is the first place I went. To me, being disabled is NOT an excuse! Ironically, my family never accepts that reasoning, either. Instead, living is a challenge, an arduous battle to learn, defy the status quo and move forward. Am I supposed to accept that Mom can and will act in fear and tangle me up in emotional choke holds because she never learned another method of relating to family kindly and clearly? Am I supposed to pity her? If I can get through this without killing my family, THAT will be a miracle!