Further Explaining To Do...

If some of you read my previous post and thought I was typing an indictment against the Bible Study group I cherish or my work friends, let me try again. I enjoy my TCC friends. We laugh and teach students together, so that's always a welcome challenge! However, when I am overlooked by any person, for whatever reason, the PAIN of knowing I'm different surfaces faster than I can handle...

Women's Bible Study is one of the few places where I don't feel the twinge of being single... I don't feel odd there. Miraculously, I just enjoy the stories and the courage of many ladies who battle "invisible and lonely syndrome" even though they're older than me. If anything, I have learned about relationships and seen glimpses of how to build strong marriages from women in our group. God knows I want to use that skill someday, so maybe that's why I get to observe and listen for now. I've also learned that human love isn't perfect -- not even from a Godly man, so it's best to find your identity in God alone and then let a husband complement that, IF the Lord grants you one...

About loneliness: a college minister I studied under once referred to an earlier time in his life when he had to make a tough choice. A mentor told hm it'd be better to follow Jesus into the desert then a human anywhere. That minister friend of mine never said what his exact needs were then, but the story has stayed with me for a few years now. Pain like the recent, unknowing insensitivity of my work peers makes me love Jesus more! Going into a cocoon with God would be easier, but I love people too much!! What I long for is romance built from a long-standing friendship. The kind that speaks without any real words. Being known and loved that well is beyond description! I think love like that's the best gift of all :) Only a best friend would bear with me in my struggles and love me enough to tell me when to SHUT UP, too! My life isn't sexy, it's just real. I'm blessed either way, but content is a word I usually prefer to cut out of the Epistles...

Bless your consideration and willingness to learn from me; my own generation pisses me off today!

Begging For Rides

I have a bit of a petty request... Help me not to resent this situation, please! There are 6 people who work as tutors beside me. They plan to see the Alice in Wonderland movie on Mon. Times and a theatre location are still being discussed, but I wasn't even asked to go... or if I wanted to attend... until I blurted "I can get there on a bus!" WHY do people not even bother to ask me because they can't see HOW a chair could POSSIBLY fit in a car?! GRRRR!! After blurting that my other chair can go in cars, I gave the lady, whom I like very much, my cell #. That was yesterday, so I hope she calls or texts me prior to Mon. If she does, I can arrange rides. People never even bother to ask if I can get in a car. With the exception of the "old" Bible Study ladies, who have learned the painful empathy of needing things from others, and a handful of college sisters, rides are rarely offered. Is there something about wheels that prevents people from asking HOW I move?? Sheesh... Perhaps it's not a deliberate slight from my co-workers. Ignorance or insensitivity borne of lacking knowledge? I may never know, but I know these moments of exclusion HURT!

I know it's a challenge to drive me, but I enjoy teaching anyone who dares to ask... Thanks for letting me blow off this cloud of steam...

Baptism

Today I've been thinking of my friends' baptism timing question while they consider when to have their son baptized.

Here's much of my note to them:
I don't think there is one "right" or "wrong" answer per se, just one that reflects your loving trust and obedience to the Lord who's blessed you with your wonderful Little Mister :)

Here's a piece of my own story: I was baptized as an infant. My mom was raised Presbyterian, my father Catholic. They attended an Episcopal church when I was small, so that's where I was officially baptized. After I accepted Christ at 14 and felt my heart begin to change over time, I was frustrated by the ceremony my mom and father took part in long before I had any awareness... I believe the hardest part of infant baptism is that it comes from the parents, not the child. My family is loving and supportive, but they're not professing Christians. The grace of God, however, has never been limited by them! (Personally, I was angry when I discovered that as a now-Presbyterian who was infant-baptized, I cannot be "washed" again.) My family simply did what they felt was right. God took their efforts as well-intended, lost people and blessed them. I am grateful for the grace that has always covered me, but I would have preferred to make my own confession and then be baptized.

If I'm ever a mom... I'd pray like crazy for my child to feel the love of Jesus, and encourage them to seek baptism when they were ready to step out n personal faith and do so. Baptism is the sign of relationship between God and His child. We're called to be His children at ANY age, so the act of stepping forward is just as significant at 2 or 82.

Bless you both as you decide how best to follow the Lord right now! -- Kjersti