ptochos is Greek for "to creep around in order not to be seen." Matthew's treatment of "blessed are the poor in spirit" rocked me where I sat when it was first explained because I used to think that phrase could ONLY mean poor incapable, pitied me. WRONG! I found an old blog I'd begun in Sept, (thank goodness for our church sermon archive so I could recall the surrounding story of ptochos from 5 months back!) Today, after finding this blog draft I started in the fall, I couldn't help seeing a new parallel as I prayed for two families suffering grave losses. "Poor in spirit" in that setting means broken open to God's movement -- remaining close to what Jesus is doing in the world with and through the people He calls into His citizenry. I think Jenny personified what it means to be poor in spirit. This connotation of poor has nothing to do with money; rather, it refers to relational proximity with others. It illustrates our ties to God and then points out the people we are called to serve with love and compassion. What I DO know is this: those who live their lives serving as Jesus did make indelible impressions on more hearts than they'll ever know!
peirazo means to test, explore, examine. It CAN mean internal temptations James probably was referring to adverse situations that tempt us away from our trust in God. If the admonition from James dealt with adversity, then I pray that both sets of parents and friends affected by the Friday shootings without losing their hope or faith in Christ.
The Hebrew word for wisdom chokmah has to do with the art of good living; the Greek for wisdom, sophia, means insight; discernment. These words came to light during my weekly Thursday bible study, along with peirazo, mentioned earlier in James. On Thursday I prayed that God would show good little me how to live lovingly and show gratitude and fortitude when necessary, Although that prayer is still true, Friday's shooting makes me wonder if the same words now carry a deeper meaning. I think that the "art of good living" -- chokmah could also refer to a life lived in demonstrative faith and love, served out of compassion and a desire for mercy even in the face of fear. Well done in that regard, Jenny Paulson! Never fear again -- know that the mercy and protection of the Lord's Eternal Strong Tower surround you.
Now for sophia, the most abstract of my new Greek words... Wisdom and discernment. Really, God?! Perhaps that is how we'll be able to pray for what became of Jed Waits and the chasm of anguish he left behind for family and friends to grapple with.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Cursed Cost of Free Will
God is sovereign over life and death. He loves all people, those who do His good and those who knew it once and turned away. This includes a deep love for a lost, troubled son who chose to kill an equally kind, righteous daughter. Our world is BROKEN so good people sometimes suffer horrendously. At the end of the day, though, no amount of anger or grief from a parent can change the fact that the world is full of things far beyond our control or comprehension. Redeem this, please Lord!
Yesterday I learned that a classmate from SPU was the elementary school teacher killed in Tacoma. I studied SpEd 7 years ago at SPU and had many classes with Jenny. She also worked in the main dining area, Gwinn Commons, serving food and cleaning endlessly. Her quiet presence and wonderful smile made it very clear to me that she thrived on doing good for others. As last night progressed, I heard from many former SPU classmates. One in fact, had dated Jenny briefly and roomed later in college with the shooter. Now, we all battle disbelief over every event and the unimaginable outcome.
I find my thoughts spinning back to a short, complicated phrase. LOVE AS GOD HAS LOVED YOU. That's not hard to do and feel for Jenny's family and their vast loss, but what about Jed? What made him think he had the right to harass and pursue a beloved daughter and selfishly take her life?! It doesn't make sense! It may never... Tonight, as I pray for Scripture to fill my thinking, I snagged myself on a phrase about "rain falling on the just and unjust." I knew it was from a gospel. Thanks to BibleGateway and Google, I found it in Matthew 5. Eerily, the NIV places it in the middle of a section named Love For Enemies.
43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
After reading this portion, I am reminded again just how little I understand God's ability to love. Please remember to pray for BOTH families affected by yesterday's horrific shooting. God grieves with and for them both, and so should we.
Yesterday I learned that a classmate from SPU was the elementary school teacher killed in Tacoma. I studied SpEd 7 years ago at SPU and had many classes with Jenny. She also worked in the main dining area, Gwinn Commons, serving food and cleaning endlessly. Her quiet presence and wonderful smile made it very clear to me that she thrived on doing good for others. As last night progressed, I heard from many former SPU classmates. One in fact, had dated Jenny briefly and roomed later in college with the shooter. Now, we all battle disbelief over every event and the unimaginable outcome.
I find my thoughts spinning back to a short, complicated phrase. LOVE AS GOD HAS LOVED YOU. That's not hard to do and feel for Jenny's family and their vast loss, but what about Jed? What made him think he had the right to harass and pursue a beloved daughter and selfishly take her life?! It doesn't make sense! It may never... Tonight, as I pray for Scripture to fill my thinking, I snagged myself on a phrase about "rain falling on the just and unjust." I knew it was from a gospel. Thanks to BibleGateway and Google, I found it in Matthew 5. Eerily, the NIV places it in the middle of a section named Love For Enemies.
43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
After reading this portion, I am reminded again just how little I understand God's ability to love. Please remember to pray for BOTH families affected by yesterday's horrific shooting. God grieves with and for them both, and so should we.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Accepted/Wanted
Many of my local friends might also be familiar with Keith Ferrin's Biblical performance ministry. (Keith's efforts to internalize and then dramatically recite the Word are incredible!) This image and reflection were posted on his website, and I just found them tonight. Perfect reminder after a long, difficult weekend. -- KJ
Being accepted and being wanted are two very different things. You can be accepted because of your own merit. Being wanted takes grace from the other person. When Paul writes to the Ephesians that God’s eternal purpose is that we might be able to “approach God with freedom and confidence” he was speaking of being wanted – not just accepted.
If all God did was “accept” me – that would still be huge (and vastly more than I deserve). But to know that He wants me? Now that is a game changer.
Being accepted and being wanted are two very different things. You can be accepted because of your own merit. Being wanted takes grace from the other person. When Paul writes to the Ephesians that God’s eternal purpose is that we might be able to “approach God with freedom and confidence” he was speaking of being wanted – not just accepted.
If all God did was “accept” me – that would still be huge (and vastly more than I deserve). But to know that He wants me? Now that is a game changer.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Love is worth the risk, isn't it?!
John 15:9-12 and 15:16-17 NIV
9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
These verses are driving me batty because this may be the TRUE proof of my belief itself! As I wrote a few days ago, I am not sure what to do with the fact that Greg contacted me with birthday wishes signed "your dad." I still don't know what to make of that whole scenario, so I have prayed and dug into the Scriptures over two hour-long periods this week. Each time I see something different, but it is now obvious that because I am loved by God and the family that has ALWAYS surrounded me, I must reply to Greg. I don't know what to write or how to phrase it; I'll just have to accept that I must write him back and trust my Author through the fear. Where on earth do I start? I place more trust in "newly minted" specialized bus drivers than Greg, mind you! Last time I wrote, I mentioned a friend's counsel. That same friend replied again with more wisdom. Her newest piece was this: make it very clear to Greg that while I am tentatively open to trading an occasional email, I am not looking to "hire" a dad. Greg is my father in the biological form of that word; John has proudly loved as my dad since our very first meeting in August, 1986! T's words were truly the affirmation I needed. God may be prompting correspondence with Greg, but I needn't worry... my dad shows me who he is everyday, simply by being a constant presence in my life!
Please pray that I would allow the Lord to be my only Author when writing Greg. All is lost if my skepticism and anger come through... Something is clearly brewing beyond the veil!
9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
These verses are driving me batty because this may be the TRUE proof of my belief itself! As I wrote a few days ago, I am not sure what to do with the fact that Greg contacted me with birthday wishes signed "your dad." I still don't know what to make of that whole scenario, so I have prayed and dug into the Scriptures over two hour-long periods this week. Each time I see something different, but it is now obvious that because I am loved by God and the family that has ALWAYS surrounded me, I must reply to Greg. I don't know what to write or how to phrase it; I'll just have to accept that I must write him back and trust my Author through the fear. Where on earth do I start? I place more trust in "newly minted" specialized bus drivers than Greg, mind you! Last time I wrote, I mentioned a friend's counsel. That same friend replied again with more wisdom. Her newest piece was this: make it very clear to Greg that while I am tentatively open to trading an occasional email, I am not looking to "hire" a dad. Greg is my father in the biological form of that word; John has proudly loved as my dad since our very first meeting in August, 1986! T's words were truly the affirmation I needed. God may be prompting correspondence with Greg, but I needn't worry... my dad shows me who he is everyday, simply by being a constant presence in my life!
Please pray that I would allow the Lord to be my only Author when writing Greg. All is lost if my skepticism and anger come through... Something is clearly brewing beyond the veil!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The father who reminded me who my DAD is...
I turned 30 two weeks ago and received a birthday email from my father... He seems to be trying to initiate something. After 25 years of next-to-nothing, I don't want that but I feel caught because to not at least try seems less than Christian to me. God is the One who designed humans for relationship, sometimes with people we don't want to know or love. I've asked the Bible Study ladies to pray and I've done so myself. I think I must respond to Greg, even though it is the LAST thing I want to do.
Matt 7:8-10 NIV For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
These words remind me that God has given me much more bread than stones. He alone provided me with a dad who loves me enough that his advice was this: "I've always felt sorry for the guy; I only missed your first 6 years, Greg missed everything." Wow!! Nothing but compassion and possibility from my wonderful dad. That's how I wish to love others!
My friend T and I had lunch yesterday and her words about reacting as a Christian, and at least trust enough to allow God to open the relationship door, have given me a lot to chew on! This is the Oswald Chambers piece that came to me after the two of us left for home.
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/23/devotion.aspx?year=2010
Read especially the last line from Chambers and please keep praying! Hugs -- Kjersti
Matt 7:8-10 NIV For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
These words remind me that God has given me much more bread than stones. He alone provided me with a dad who loves me enough that his advice was this: "I've always felt sorry for the guy; I only missed your first 6 years, Greg missed everything." Wow!! Nothing but compassion and possibility from my wonderful dad. That's how I wish to love others!
My friend T and I had lunch yesterday and her words about reacting as a Christian, and at least trust enough to allow God to open the relationship door, have given me a lot to chew on! This is the Oswald Chambers piece that came to me after the two of us left for home.
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/23/devotion.aspx?year=2010
Read especially the last line from Chambers and please keep praying! Hugs -- Kjersti
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Haiti: What shoud we do?!
There are no easy answers here. We in America cannot fathom the needs of the Haitian people who cannot even access basics like water. I sit here typing as an educated woman in a warm room with the smell of dinner cooking down the hall... Luke's gospel compels us this way: "To whom much is given, much is expected." (12:48)
No, I cannot relate to the Haitians directly, but I can empathize with their needs and act in a way that blesses others, which I do! The social services in this country do leave a lot to be desired; but, they are mostly functional (within the confines of their own unique bureaucracy, that is...) NO! I don't think it's fair that I lose disability benefits because I work, but it is what it is. (I can earn $60 a month without penalty. Beyond that, I lose $1 for every $2 I earn.) Each month I report my earnings to Social Security and my benefit is hacked accordingly.
MATTHEW 22:17-21
17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?"
18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me?
19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius,
20 and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"
21 "Caesar's," they replied.
Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
God never asks us to analyze whether this practice is fair or not. We are instead called to respond in LOVE as He would. People who gripe need to STOP yakking, START praying and then ACT so that others suffer less!
No, I cannot relate to the Haitians directly, but I can empathize with their needs and act in a way that blesses others, which I do! The social services in this country do leave a lot to be desired; but, they are mostly functional (within the confines of their own unique bureaucracy, that is...) NO! I don't think it's fair that I lose disability benefits because I work, but it is what it is. (I can earn $60 a month without penalty. Beyond that, I lose $1 for every $2 I earn.) Each month I report my earnings to Social Security and my benefit is hacked accordingly.
MATTHEW 22:17-21
17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?"
18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me?
19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius,
20 and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"
21 "Caesar's," they replied.
Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
God never asks us to analyze whether this practice is fair or not. We are instead called to respond in LOVE as He would. People who gripe need to STOP yakking, START praying and then ACT so that others suffer less!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Shuttle saga continues
I got a Shuttle services application packet in the mail yesterday -- looks as if Pierce Transit is making all current passengers re-apply for Shuttle services. I must sign and return the papers before Oct 23 or I'll be considered "no longer in need" of Shuttle services. Now isn't that a "unique," punitive way of cutting budgets/reducing passenger volume?!
If the newly listed eligibility administrator has an ounce of compassion or logic, she might actually comprehend that there is no longer a bus stop near me. Never mind that the stop terrain was ALWAYS gravel & dirt! Well, then again... if the new eligibility coordinator is as much of a policy-enforcing bureaucrat as her predecessor, I'm still very much between a rock and a hard place. Just to highlight the depth of my need for Shuttle services, I'll have my doc, PT and "licensed mental health counselor" all sign the app and testify on my "disabled" behalf. Nothing is simple in my world!
I had a very good, much appreciated thing happen this afternoon. I typically call the Shuttle reservations office every Sunday afternoon to set up the rides I KNOW I'll need for the week ahead. I have a counseling appt this Thursday, and because my counselor's office is on Pearl St. in north Tacoma, I am usually refused a Shuttle-only ride and told that I must use the Shuttle van to connect with a fixed route bus. (Going to and from using the suggested combination of bus and shuttle takes nearly 90 min each way... all for an hour-long counseling session!) I don't do that willingly and usually find a parent, neighbor or friend to drive me instead. For some reason, I GOT my Shuttle-only counseling ride this time! I'm not going to ask questions... THANK YOU!!
Pray for a helpful, encouraging outcome to my upcoming "new" application for Shuttle services, please. Luv ya for your support :)
If the newly listed eligibility administrator has an ounce of compassion or logic, she might actually comprehend that there is no longer a bus stop near me. Never mind that the stop terrain was ALWAYS gravel & dirt! Well, then again... if the new eligibility coordinator is as much of a policy-enforcing bureaucrat as her predecessor, I'm still very much between a rock and a hard place. Just to highlight the depth of my need for Shuttle services, I'll have my doc, PT and "licensed mental health counselor" all sign the app and testify on my "disabled" behalf. Nothing is simple in my world!
I had a very good, much appreciated thing happen this afternoon. I typically call the Shuttle reservations office every Sunday afternoon to set up the rides I KNOW I'll need for the week ahead. I have a counseling appt this Thursday, and because my counselor's office is on Pearl St. in north Tacoma, I am usually refused a Shuttle-only ride and told that I must use the Shuttle van to connect with a fixed route bus. (Going to and from using the suggested combination of bus and shuttle takes nearly 90 min each way... all for an hour-long counseling session!) I don't do that willingly and usually find a parent, neighbor or friend to drive me instead. For some reason, I GOT my Shuttle-only counseling ride this time! I'm not going to ask questions... THANK YOU!!
Pray for a helpful, encouraging outcome to my upcoming "new" application for Shuttle services, please. Luv ya for your support :)
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